Losing 50 pounds in 4 weeks? August 21, 2006

I can see the search words people used based on which they arrived on this blog.

Now I shouldn’t make fun of people. But I am going to anyway….

Someone searched for the following in the search engine of their choice: “How to lose 50 pounds, in 4 weeks?”

Now on first glance, I’d like to say this blog won’t provide the answer.

But I put my resourceful hat on, just to be of service:

Warning: kids don’t try this at home

1. Run a marathon every day. (Go on, you can do it.)
2A. Don’t eat any food at all. (If Ethiopians can do it, so can you)

2B. Throw up after eating (If princess Di can do it, so can you, just don’t marry anyone with ears like sail boats and despite that is a cheating SOB)

3. Amputate your limbs (who needs them anyway…eh)

4. Remove heavy organs, and replace with light weight titanium body parts (Cyborgs are cool!)

5. Liposuction the hell out of yourself (they should invent do-it-yourself kits. Lipo-home! I may be on to something here.)

6. Adjust your gastro-intestinal (whatever the name is) surgery, to fit….nothing. Not even a pea or a grape. (I am sure there is a perfectly well trained surgeon in Mexico somewhere.)

Tip: order some good medical and funeral insurance………because you are going to need it.

All kidding aside, I don’t think it can be done. And if it can be done, it won’t be a healthy thing to do. Don’t do it!